People compete in all kinds of aspects of life, including love, careers, children and appearances. The Huffington Post explains why exactly women compete with each other. The first reason is insecurity. A woman that envies another woman’s successes lacks confidence in herself. What often happens is that envy leads to negative actions, such as bullying. By putting other women down, the envious woman feels better of herself, as she conceives herself being more worthy than the other women.
Another reason why women compete is because of the belief that life’s opportunities are limited. A competing woman sees life as a zero-sum game: “another woman’s success is a loss for me”. However, there are also scientific reasons for female competition. According to Psychology Today, women naturally compete to secure a suitable mate.
While men disparage their economic and physical strength, women criticize the age, appearance and character of their opponents.
How to stop competing with other women
Despite these three factors, it is obvious that putting other women down will not make your life any better – or at least it shouldn’t. In my opinion, a world of cooperation and collaboration between women is a much better world to live in than in a world of envy and competition. In the end, hatred is the easy approach; it, however, takes strength to be happy for other women and to support other women, even if they perceivably have it “better” than you. Although, this approach is more difficult, it is worth it. Here’s how to stop competing with other women:
1. Focus on writing your own story
Competition ultimately starts with comparison. Whether the woman is a random person you found online or your colleague, something about her traits and/or successes is putting you down. So, why don’t you just stop comparing? First, do you really know everything about that other woman? Do you know her history or what she went through in life? Unless you lived her life and walked in her shoes, you simply don’t know, so you can never assume that her life is as great and perfect as you perceive it to be.
Second, why waste your precious time on comparing yourself with other women, when you could use that time to work on your own future? Focus on writing your own story instead of following those of others. Lastly, be thankful! Your life is really not that bad. Another woman has a better position than you? Be glad you have a job! Another woman has more children than you? Be glad you can have children! Another woman has a wealthier partner than you? Be glad you have a partner! And the list goes on…
2. Get inspired by other women’s achievements
Instead of feeling bitter, use other women’s successes to inspire yourself! If you are impressed by another woman’s achievements, let it motivate you to achieve great things as well, without having the necessity of putting other women down.
She can, so I can!
3. Uplift other women
We need to start uplifting each other instead of competing with each other. We all love and need words of encouragement and support – it’s what motivates us. Therefore, let’s start doing that for each other! Once you start helping the women around you, they will eventually help you as well. Believe me, we have the power to make the world a better place. Let’s start among ourselves! 🙂
Photography by Nat Photography.